Updated: Aug 28, 2018
First things first.
Never underestimate the power you have inside yourself. It is possible for you to create perfect relationships but it takes will power and work.
For me, I guess I never had issues with relationships, with girlfriends, friends etc. Which is surprising because I come from a family that isn’t really good at sticking together. I saw both my mother and father remarried multiple times during my childhood. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it did make me see things from a different perspective. And it was the beginning of me learning to adapt and channel all those feelings I had, and all the energy they took up, in the right direction.
I came to understand very early in life that you have to learn to compromise to keep moving forward. Especially when it comes to intimate relationships.
Everyone says ‘don’t change, people will love you just the way you are! People will see the real you and they need to accept you for who you are!” In theory all that sounds very appealing but in reality, it is much more complex than that.
I wholeheartedly believe that if I had that ‘don’t change’ attitude, I would not have succeeded in my relationships. Because change is a necessity! Why? Because it is my responsibility to make myself happy in my relationships so that the relationship itself can be happy. That means compromise!
No matter what, it is YOU who must take responsibility for YOU.
Everything that happens in your life as well as how you deal with the things that happen and feel about it all, is on you. It is your duty to find the compromise you need to make things work and to show the world that you are happy. And, in being happy, you contribute to others people’s happiness. You also contribute to the happiness of your relationships.
If you take that as a ground level statement, it is very important to understand that how you feel about yourself is a reflection how you see the world and how the world sees you too.
If you are a miserable fuck, you always feel victimised, have a negative outlook on situations then guess what – that is how people will see you and you will bring the same miserable experiences into your life! If you are vibrant and happy, positive, charming, helpful, caring, same deal, people will see you in that light. In a relationship, if you are always taking but not giving, if you are down on yourself and your partner, then there is no way happiness can foster. And don’t blame the other person if you’re unhappy. Get up, go do something about it because it is YOUR responsibility to make yourself happy.