I get asked a lot about my relationship with Pablo. I get asked how it started, how we met, what it's all about. I get asked because people who meet us can tell pretty quickly that we aren’t your ‘typical’ couple.
But I don’t always have an exact answer for those who ask me. I guess I go through the standard answers first; I tell them how we met, where we met and that we’ve been together nearly 13 years. I tell them we are super close, we are husband and wife, lovers, best friends and that’s when I get the raised eyebrows… the “and?” look. The questioning look. The “yeah but what’s that extra thing that makes you different and work so well” look.
And at that point, I smile.
This is where things get fun, and complicated and sometimes a little hard to comprehend. Because the answer they are looking for isn’t always easy for people to grasp, or maybe its not quite what they are expecting either. And often, my answer is different to what it might have been a year, a month, a week or a day ago too!
Why? Because we, as a couple, are ALWAYS changing, evolving, growing, experimenting. As human beings we are always changing; our emotions, feelings, thoughts, wants, needs, things don’t remain the same over time and with experiences. And as we change, so too must our relationship. Otherwise it doesn’t survive. Or if it does, it certainly doesn’t thrive. For us, the only thing that needs to stay the same is our love and foundation, our core. And that always does.
Something that I find exciting about the way our relationship changes is that no matter what, there is no judgement between us. There is complete openness, discussion, and decisions made. No matter what one of us brings up, the other will listen, take it in, give an honest opinion and we go from there. We don’t chastise the other for feeling or wanting something, we decide whether its ok in our relationship in the stage it’s currently at, or perhaps for this to happen we need to evolve yet again. Is this something we are willing and wanting to do? All these things come up and we talk it all through.
This, my friends, is the most important EXTRA in our relationship. All the rest doesn’t matter if the COMMUNICATION and honesty isn’t there first.
The reason we are so happy, and work so well together, is because we can talk about anything, we can work through anything, get past anything, get over anything, learn from anything and find a way to benefit from anything. Nothing is ever off limits to TALK about. That’s not to say nothing is off limits, in that moment at least, but it can always be discussed. And in my opinion, that is what makes our relationship so special.
Communication is the key, the extra… always.