Updated: Aug 28, 2018
Jealousy is an evil beast.
It’s a fucked up emotion that digs in deep and holds on for dear life.
Jealousy rips you open and pours your insides across the floor without even a pause. It can rear its ugly head at any moment. One second you’re high on life and the next, your heart is pounding, your eyes become blurry and the monster that is jealousy grips at your chest, cuts off your airways and turns your heart cold then hot then cold again.
Jealousy doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t give a shit. It thrives off your attention. It fucking loves it.
People break up because of it. People kill because of it. People die because of it.
But what the hell does it mean?
Jealousy is a universal emotion and it’s involuntary. No-one is immune to it, just some people know how to cope with it better than others. It can also be a seriously dangerous emotion because it focuses solely on negatives.
But jealousy is also much more complex than that. And while some people believe it’s a sign of insecurities, others believe jealousy can be a way to reflect your true values – of commitment, monogamy, and love.
And here’s the other thing… jealous feelings are different from jealous actions. It can be quite normal to feel jealous. But you don’t need to act on it. You don’t need to turn into a full-blown crazy person and attack your partner. Instead, acknowledge your feelings, try to understand what caused them and where they came from, take a moment, breathe in and out slowly, regain your composure and regain control of yourself.
Learn to recognise that thoughts are often just that. They are thoughts. They are not reality. Your version of reality and the truth, are probably not the same. And when you can understand this, when you can look your thoughts square in the eye and tell them to “fuck off”, then you can overcome jealousy. You can move past it and you can go on to have some incredible times, some intense moments and experience more love then you knew possible.
When you delve into the never-ending world of sex, relationships and opening up, jealousy is bound to surface. Reach out if you are ready to learn how to manage your emotions, turn jealous thoughts into positive learning curves and work through them. It's not an easy thing to do but it is a worthwhile practice and important thing to learn when in a relationship. Learn how to hold onto only the thoughts and emotions that empower and improve you and let go of those that no longer serve you.