Updated: Aug 28, 2018
To the woman serving me, I am not judging you.
The ‘me’ of only a few weeks ago would have looked at your long blonde hair so perfectly imperfect, wispy and sun bleached, and hated you for it.
Seen your long, tanned legs and accused you of vanity because you applied fake tan.
Cringed at your sexy smile or the way your eyes creased slightly when your lips parted to show straight white teeth.
Felt annoyed by your slim figure, the way your short pants hugged your curves in just the right way.
I would have judged you for the way you looked because you looked better than I did. Felt mad that if my husband saw you he would find you attractive. You are exactly the type of woman he likes. And this would have made me dislike you.
But that wouldn’t have been fair, beautiful server. Because I don’t know you.
I don’t know your heart or your soul. I don’t know if you are a good person or not. I don’t know if you have people in your life who look upon you with eyes full of love and pride for the things you’ve achieved. I don’t know if you suffer fear and sadness. Maybe the things I saw in you, you can’t see in yourself. I don’t know anything about you.
You and I might even be great friends if we met. We might share interests and passions, desires and dreams.
Under the right circumstances we might even have fun sharing my husband.
And would it really be that bad if he thought you looked great? You do! You’re stunning!
So, to the woman serving me, I am not judging you.
Judgement comes from insecurity. Its as simple as that. And in today's society, judgement between women in particular is a huge problem. That's because the lack of self love we have is a huge problem.
In a world run by social media sisters who look like the incarnation of perfection, it can be tough to feel great all the time. But learning how to embrace ourselves, love ourselves, appreciate ourselves, is a skill well worth the struggle of learning.
And, the more secure we are in ourselves, the less we feel the need to compare ourselves to others. When we stop comparing, we stop judging. Because the things we judge are often the things we feel we are lacking, so we project these feelings into dislike for someone else.
Let's talk more about this.