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Anal play, yay or nay?

Updated: Aug 28, 2018

Well we already know sex itself is a taboo subject, so I suppose the topic of anal sex would be right up there in the no go zone. But you may have noticed that I like to push the boundaries so…. Let’s talk about anal!

If you asked me about 6 months ago what I thought of anal sex, I would have said something along the lines of “hell no, no-one is sticking anything up my poo hole!” However, ask me now and you will get a very different response.

You see, when Pablo and I started talking about our desires and fantasies, we decided to each write a list of our top ten fantasies. The idea was to not hold back, nothing was off limits and to just be honest about things we wanted to try, or at least talk more about. Of course, anal sex was on Pablo’s list.

I wasn’t all that excited about the idea of trying it out at first. It seemed unnatural to me. It seemed like something only porn stars did, like it was dirty. But I knew it was something he was interested in trying so I did a little research and decided I would open myself up to the possibility. I then surprised him (and myself) and bought some anal beads and a pack of three butt plugs in different sizes. He was pretty shocked and excited…..

One night we decided to give the beads a try and let me tell you, it was a strange sensation. We didn’t exactly do it right either….. not nearly enough lube, foreplay, softening, stretching and so on. But from this first experience, we kept pushing a little further until we got it right. Then we moved on to the butt plugs and worked our way through the sizes, prepping to eventually try penetration with his cock.

And boy was that moment great!

Turns out I love anal play! Who would have thought? But, and this is a big but (no pun intended) there is a right and wrong way to go about anal play and anal sex. So I thought I would share some tips with you.

1. Go to the bathroom first – yeah it’s a gross thought but it needs to be said. Prepare yourself.

2. LUBE UP! I cannot stress this enough. Lube is your best friend when it comes to anal play. Find a water based or natural lube and use it liberally. Don't get the sticky cheap ones that dry up quickly.

3. Get aroused before you play. Just as with vaginal sex, if you are not aroused, if the juices aren’t flowing, your body won’t be relaxed and things can get painful. Especially if you are not used to anal play. Use foreplay to get in the mood and to relax. I personally love a sensual massage first where my man’s hands slowly start teasing me and working me up to the point of excitement.

4. Soften the anus before sticking anything in there. Anal play is a process. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, so have your partner take their time and play with you first. Massaging the rim, kissing it, licking it (if you enjoy that), moving their fingers around the outside slowing adding more pressure and inserting them one at a time (WITH THE LUBE!) while massaging and stretching from the inside. Keep in mind, this shouldn’t be clinical, this should all be playful, sensual, loving, fun, arousing, cheeky etc.

5. Helpful hint - touch yourself while your partner is playing back there, it will keep you nice and excited. Rub your clit, your nipples, and tune into how your body is feeling and reacting to these new sensations.

6. Once you are feeling open, relaxed and aroused, play with the beads or plug. Be gentle and go slow to begin with and get used to the feeling of something bigger inside you. I love to have vaginal sex with the plug in first, it opens up a whole new world of sensations and it’s an incredible feeling.

7. When you are feeling hot, horny and ready – ease your partner in nice and slow. Once again, REAPPLY MORE LUBE FIRST! The head going in will probably (ok definitely) hurt a little at first… but it’s the widest bit so once that’s in, you’re good to go. Try to relax your butt muscles as much as possible too…. Think Frozen and ‘Let it Go!”

8. When you start having anal sex, the key is to go slow and work up the speed if you want to. Whatever you enjoy is perfect, but starting slow will help avoid too much pain or tearing which can happen if you aren’t properly prepared.

9. Another helpful hint here is to use a condom. Even if you don’t usually use one with your partner for vaginal sex, it just helps with bacteria and all that yukky stuff. Also, never use the same condom going from anal to vaginal and back again because both holes hold different bacteria and you can cause an infection.

10. I personally enjoy anal from a ‘doggy style’ position but with my legs spread really wide so I’m almost in child’s pose (for the yoga lovers out there you know what I mean – everyone else, look it up). I also keep touching myself during penetration and it feels fucking fantastic!

So there you go. My top 10 tips for Anal Sex. Now before you all either screw up your noses at the thought, or literally run to the bedroom (via the bathroom, let’s not forget tip no. 1) let me break it down a little more……

Many women can’t orgasm through vaginal penetration alone. However, the way the female anatomy is designed means the anus has enormous amounts of nerve endings both surrounding it and directly within it. So a lot of ladies find that the stimulation of these nerves, combined with the vaginal penetration or clitoral stimulation makes them cum, and cum hard!

So if it is something you have thought about trying, or have tried but without success, see how you feel after reading this. And let us know if you have any questions.

*This awesome watercolour painting was done for us by Erotic Watercolor - find her on Insta*

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